20 reasons I am not cool

1. I have no tattoos/ unusual piercings because I'm a coward when it comes to pain.
2. I don't drink because it makes me ill. I'm always the quiet one at the party who looks like they're bored. I'm not always, just sober.
3. Ditto coffee.
4. There are no photos on Facebook of me pulling faces/being drunk/with a large group of friends-only cool kids have that.
5. I often prefer to stay in than go out .
6. I listen to Bollywood and 90s dance music sometimes.
7. I cannot dance in public, I look like a puppet as soon as I know eyes might be on me.
8. I don't like being naked/semi clothed in public.
9. I don't have many close friends in the BFF style.
10. I don't play computer games and don't even know the difference between an Xbox and a Playstation.
11. I don't have a television.
12. I never watch animation like Pixar. More Toy Story/Shrek references have gone over my head than Ryanair planes.
13. No matter what I wear, I never like that chic.
14. No matter what I do with my hair, it always looks a mess. I've never mastered cool bedhair or the tousled.
15. I'm the only 30 year old who still has to occasionally sponge their breakfast off their clothes, like a 3 year old.
16. I don't go clubbing. Ever.
17. People come into the shop and say things like "have you got that biography of X from Eastenders". I never have a clue who or what they're going on about.
18. I seldom get friend requests on Facebook (unless you count strange men over 50).
19. I only wear sunglasses when I'm on holiday or if it really is sunny.
20. I'm quite ignorant about topical things as I don't read newspapers and seldom read the BBC news-although I always plan to include it in my routine. Football, politics, the latest scandals-I'm oblivious to most things, unless people mention it on Facebook.

I know there are alternatives to cool, and unique is something to aspire to. Just occasionally though I wonder what it would be like to be like the majority of the population, to be 'in' and know what was going on....